AISLE SAY: Annual Christmas Paean to Delaware, Small Wonder

“O Christine O, O Christine O”
( to the tune of “O Christmas Tree”)

O Christine O, O Christine O!
Our state you so embarrass
O Christine O! O Christine O!
Republicans you so harass
Your only job is candidate
Your resume is pure bull…&*%
O Christine O, O Christine O!
Have you a gray cell working?

O Christine O, O Christine O!
No pleasure thou can’st give me;
You say that mice have human brains
“Pleasure oneself?” “One must abstain!”
O Christine O, O Christine O!
No pleasure thou can’st give me.

O Christine O, O Christine O!
I wouldn’t walk in your shoes
O Christine O, O Christine O!
You made the R’s sing the blues
In early years you tried witchcraft
No wonder they all think you’re daft
O Christine O, O Christine O
I wouldn’t walk in your shoes

O Christine O, O Christine O!
You were a TV talking head
O Christine O, O Christine O
I watched debates with fear and dread
You say your funds were misconstrued
Your former staff got really screwed.
O Christine O, O Christine O
You were a TV talking head

O Christine O, O Christine O
You cursed the State for bailin’
Don’t want no mini Palin!
Seasoned pros with Mr. Coons
You had the nerve to call them goons
O Christine O, O Christine O
You cursed the State for bailin’

O Christine O, O Christine O
You say a Witch is not your case
O Christine O, O Christine O
Please leave our state without a trace
Your money came from out of state
Your ethics you do abdicate
O Christine O, O Christine O
Please leave our state without a trace

“Deck the State with DelDot Land Deals”
(to the tune of “Deck The Halls with Boughs of Holly”)

Deck the state with DelDot land deals
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tax money gone and NO appeals
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Ruthann jets with Greg Tigani
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
A sweetheart deal in secrecy
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Years away this Sussex bypass
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
DelDot deals a legal morass
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
See the barren acreage before us
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Pay their mortgage…just so ludicrous!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The rich grow rich in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
“Screw those hicks, increase our treasure!”
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
A full accounting, Secretary Wicks
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Disclose in full and no more tricks
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

“O Come All Ye Acolytes”
(to the tune of “O Come All Ye Faithful”)
O Come All Ye Acolytes
Trusting and religious
O come ye, O come ye to Wilmington.
Come and believe him,
The priest that gives you succor;
O come, let us denounce him,
O come, let us detest him,
O come, let us despise him,
The wicked priest.

O Sing, unwarned parents,
Sing in exultation,
Sing that your son was deemed a ”chosen” one.
Car rides and many … overnight vacations;
O come, let us recant him,
O come, let us renounce him,
O come, let us revile him,
The wicked priest.

And now, 40 years later
A chance to gain some closure
Who to pay the price for this sad shattered life?
The parish?, the diocese?… roads lead to Vatican City!
O come, let us distrust him,
O come, let us mistrust him,
O come, let us adore him?
The wicked priest